How to Move On After He Leaves You

BREAK-UPS are by no means easy, and sadly, many times neither can you avoid them. So most of us at some point or the other will have to deal with this kind of parting, and the feelings can range anywhere from intense and continuous desolation morphing into murderous thoughts, to the kind of gut wrenching grief one feels when one loses a loved one.

Thoughts of 'How could he have done this to me?'; 'If he loved me he never would have done this'; 'Should I text?', 'Who is he with now?'; 'Should I call the new girl?', and promises to God to serve Him if He makes the man return will flood your mind for months, and there will be no comfort in the words of family and friends when life just doesn't seem worth living.

But the fact of the matter is that life goes on, and while it may not be easy, it is possible. It may take weeks, months, or for some, even years, but soon you will breathe again.

Psychologist Dr Leahcim Semaj employs the practical approach — warning that not every relationship was meant to last forever. And if you adopt his approach, then you will, more than likely, be less devastated when your honey decides it's time to hit the road.

"It is said that people come into your life for a reason. It is rare the person comes into your life forever," Semaj said.

"It might be harder for women to cope knowing you have given the man the best years of your life and now you find that you are 35 or 36 and you were living a lie; he wasn't who he said he was, so now you have to think about starting all over again..."

Valerie said 15 years ago her fiancé sat her down for one of those talks — she was seven months pregnant with their daughter when he delivered the news. His other woman was pregnant too, and he wanted to be with her.

"We were supposed to get married. I had the dress and everything. If I didn't have the dress it wouldn't be so bad, but I had the dress and I had told everyone. I couldn't even face my friends after that. I spent months afterwards just looking at the dress," she said.

Her fiancé moved out before their daughter was born. Now 15 years later Valerie is still grieving, to the point where some people believe she is mad.

Counsellor Cathy Roberts said the healing process after a break-up is not easy.

Source